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About Deviant shawn siebenMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Let me pull you down to zero for a moment
Where every drug they prescribe doesn't do a damn thing
Except make you feel hallow and your dick don't work.
As if an unsolved Rubik's cube lays in the mind
Beneath a blanket of allm other things you have to do with your time
And the lights are out, as you try to solve it.
Each twist and turn is as if your whole head moves to trying to guess which side is red or blue and wondering why no matter what you do keeps getting you to similar place where you started...
And the beat of your heart comes on to remind you that your time is limited. That every pump of your precious life is not to be wasted. You drop the cube and look around as your body scrambles on the floor. Reaching, grabbing, trying find a stable thing to latch onto just to elevate yourself to something more.
And sometimes it is a person or an idea or place you'd rather be... But just like your heart reminds you, not everything last forever every and these things fade and leave. Some too quickly I might add. Some never meant to be.
Then the pumping turns to ticking as you start to realize in your mind
that while others wishes consist of clothes and cars and fun things, yours are when's the end of time.
That diagnosis that turns to time of death.
Or the mishap that puts you in the morgue.
A look at your hands as if they're transparent and there's nothing but the floor.
How you wonder when the last line will snap.
With that finally step that leads to nevermore.

Oh... we're less than zero now. This is where you should probably get off. I can't quit riding this until I see the final stop.

Many many things have been running through my head, for so very long. It makes me want to crack my brain and pour it all out, to make more sense of it. Rearrange it out in the open. Being open, that's something I have been trying put out there more. Not being afraid of who I am and what drives me. There have been a many and then a few instances where I actually truly felt like myself. The quick and decisive through process. The commanding nature and strength to take on anything. The knowledge and thirst for more. But then it disappears. And that, is what I'm trying to figure out why.

The Natural Born Killers soundtrack has been on repeat for awhile…
I suggested a full listen, and also watching the movie if you haven't.

Halloween is coming soon. I like the change it brings about. Let me shed my mask so you can all put on yours.

"Isn't it interesting what happens, when we only try and give each other the best versions of ourselves?" - Joy Williams

There has also been an influx of poetry coming into my life, and not through me exactly. Through friends, and new people. From random happenings and old things turning new tricks. I've really liked it. It changes my life.
I pull the curtain back
In hopes to find myself
The one I see outlined
The one that seems like me more
But it brings me to another room
With no occupant insight
No one in that room
But my wishes that hold me tight.
Red Curtain
Inspired by The Black Lodge from Twin Peaks, and also something a "sight seerer" once said to me. She looked me in the eye and studied me for awhile. She said there is a wall, or a curtain, that lays below what I put "on stage." She asked me why I don't pull it back, and told her I don't know how. In the past year, I feel I caught a glimpse. It makes me want to burn the curtain down.
Unstable, in every sense of the word.

Not only do I shift inside
but send the tremors sailing outward.

Some waves lift others up
and others, bring'em down.
Some fall, swallowed whole
by the new gap'in abyss
in the ground.

Taking steps to make an earthquake
can send shock waves through
the mind.
Hold your soul
or watch it go.
I'm movin' all the time.
Inspired by a poet I met on the street, and my heavy walking.
I already sold my dinged up halo
Used my wings to fuel a fire
Gave my good graces to a poor man
and told him to keep'em for awhile

I sinned up a storm
to rain down into the holy water
Started a fire in the hearts of those
Who needed something to light their way

I blew the embers as they screamed
Much to my delight
Say a prayer now, if you will,
as the Devil comes home tonight.
Smooth Fall
Inspired by a poet I met on the street.


sicsided's Profile Picture
shawn sieben
United States
Current Residence: Minnesota

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j-lew2021 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2010
thanks for the :+fav: keep up the work
60degres0fperfection Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2010   Digital Artist
hey when was the last time you were on here?
sicsided Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2010
I come on here probably every other day. Mainly just to look.
60degres0fperfection Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2012   Digital Artist
still come on here?
sicsided Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
From time to time.
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